Now that I have calmed down considerably I've decided I can post here without sounding totally off my rocker.
People have this habit of not addressing issues when I bring it to them.
This makes me anger because I AM cognitively aware enough to know when and when not people are brushing me aside. They also happen to be important to me and by giving me a straight answer and putting said worry to rest it might just make my life easier/eliminate many hours of anxiety and tears....but you know people don't seem to be able to do that. and. it. is. driving. me. mad.
I want to add this needing to "know" isn't just a part of my disability(which needs structure) a and suffering from some pretty serious anxiety.
Needing to know as humans makes us feel safe. If one thing I could tell parents and all the health professions (mental or physical) is that we need to know and we need to know the truth. And no matter how stupid or insignificant you may think the question is, it isn't to the person asking it.
Maybe because of my disability people feel the need to water it down or hide it form me, but it isn't helpful at all.
Yes my timeline of worries may not be current but they are valid worries and do you know how much of this:
COULD FREAKING BE AVOIDED.
The latest conversation that went something like this:
Jess: "It says here that hep B, and a bunch of other vaccinations are required, is getting exempted going to be a problem?"
Responded: "No, don't worry about it we'll deal with it"
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT. GIVE ME A STRAIGHT UP ANSWER FOR HEAVENS SAKE "We'll deal with it" IS NOT A STRAIGHT UP ANSWER. UGH! I NEED TO KNOW definitely the answer and if you can't then don't freaking sugar coat it. I'm not stupid.
People seem to think because I'm disabled they need to sugar coat the hell out of things for me. Why? I don't know? I'm disabled which means my brain is wired different and my anxiety level is extreme, but I work full time, I pay taxes, I drive a car, I contribute to life. Yet everyone is afraid to upset me. Sure the truth might temporarily upset me but it gives me REAL info I CAN use. With that real info/the truth I can then work to find a solution and yes this may be something months down the road but clearly I NEED it addressed now because it's bothering me.
How hard is this?
And this blog post hasn't been informative at all or even beneficial to anyone but me who got to vent my frustration. And sometimes I need that. Because I live in a world not built for the likes of me. and apparently I need to work better on communicating my needs without sounding like an agressive raging mess.
Jess the brave,